Always Watching (Brandilyn Collins) by Brandilyn Collins

Author:Brandilyn Collins
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Tags: ebook, book
Publisher: Zondervan
Published: 2009-08-12T07:00:00+00:00

26

Out of the bathroom, flat on my back on the bed, I felt weak and depleted. My tears wouldn’t stop. Once I started crying, I cried for everything wrong in my life — past and present. Missing Tom, the nightmare of seeing his dead face, the horrible afternoon, my sadness that Mom didn’t have the time for me she used to have, and my years-long wish to know my dad. Even with Brittany to console me, the emptiness was too much all at once.

When a break in my tears finally came, I longed to talk to Mom like we used to do when I was younger. But she was probably still with Detective Furlow. Besides, the gap between us had grown. I didn’t know how to go to her with my biggest heartaches anymore.

Carly. That’s who I could call.

I looked up the number to the room she shared with Lois and Melissa and phoned, hoping she hadn’t gone out to dinner. My heart flip-flopped when Carly answered.

“Hi,” I choked, “it’s Shaley. Can you come to my room for a minute?” I didn’t want to go to hers in case her roommates were there.

“Sure, baby. I’ll be right over.”

When a knock sounded on the door, Brittany checked through the peephole before opening up. From my slumped position on my bed, I watched Carly hustle inside, all open arms and compassion. She was dressed in jeans and an old red T-shirt with gold letters on the front spelling TRUTH. No makeup. She headed straight for me, sat down, put her arm around my shoulders, and pulled me close. I leaned against her, fresh tears biting my eyes. She smelled faintly of the jasmine-scented body lotion she always wore. Brittany sat on her own bed, facing us.

Even then, Carly asked no questions. She simply let me cry, her right hand rubbing my upper arm. “Jesus, Jesus,” she whispered, “please comfort this dear child.”

I wasn’t sure how Jesus could comfort me. He was in heaven; I was stuck here on earth. And at that moment it was a lousy place to be.

My hand rose to flick away tears. Brittany fetched me a tissue. As I took it from her, a thought pierced me. Maybe Jesus used other people to comfort. Carly and Brittany were doing a good job of it.

I cried myself out, then straightened, shuddering a breath. My head hurt. The wet tissue balled in my fingers. Carly scooted away a little and shifted to face me. Her dark eyes glistened. “Ready to tell me about it?”

It spilled from me in a torrent, Brittany filling in details. The white rose. Paparazzi and reporters in the mall. The photo in my shopping bag. Tom’s apartment wall, full of pictures. Detective Fur-low’s thought that Tom could have been killed because of me.

“Because of you?” Carly’s head drew back. “Surely he didn’t put it like that.”

“Might as well have. He said maybe someone found out how Tom felt about me and was jealous.”

“Shaley.” Carly put her finger under my chin, nudging me to look her in the eye.

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